14 May 2010

Happy Birthday Mom

This is Mom.. today she is 60 years old.
It’s strange when your parent turns sixty. As a kid, the idea of them being that old is unthinkable. Your grandparents are sixty..

One of Mom’s favorite books is “The Giving Tree”. In it, an apple tree loves a boy and gives him everything. First its fruit, later itself. The boy becomes and old man, the tree nothing but a stump. The book says the tree is happy at the end, but I never believed it.

Mom raised two kids, my sister Amy and I. We never appreciated her enough. How could we? Kids have no concept what it means to be a single parent. We became angry at her over what we didn’t have instead of loving her for what we did, unable to see the effort she put forth to give us the moments of happiness we experienced.

She married again, trying to create another family for us out of spare parts but knowing it was a losing proposition. To say she made the best of it is another understatement. She now had three stepchildren in their 20s living at home, if a couple of plywood “rooms” hastily built in her garage could be considered living. They worked menial jobs, blew every last dime on self-indulgence, and showed no inclination of “growing up”. But Mom loved them both. She genuinely cared about these people, even as they treated that which she provided them as their right instead of a generous gift. All the while trying to teach her own children responsibility and show them the need to become responsible adults.

Then she became honest with herself, made a decision purely for herself for the first time in my life. I was in college, and after dinner one night she told me she was gay. I could lie and say I was surprised, but what I felt was joy. Not that she was gay, but that she could now lead her life for herself. This was her telling me that.. she was going to be happy.

As she enters her seventh decade, my greatest hope is that she continues on this path. She has earned it..

10 May 2010

The Death of Beta

(Background: Beta is a minor character in the story I am currently writing. He is a homeless man known only by his nickname, a play on the old Alpha-Beta supermarket smock he wears. While I don't want to reveal the full details of what he does in the story that makes Doc want to kill him, for some reason I wrote this scene first)

“Weird fucking week, eh?” Beta smiles a mouthful of Cavity Creeps as he reaches for the bottle.

“Yeah, you could say that.” I contemplate holding the bottle just out of his reach, but let him have it when my eyes start to water. Even sitting on the beach with the winds blowing in from the ocean, I stay a good two feet from Beta to preserve my sense of smell.

Beta is already three sheets to the wind and tips over just from the weight of the bottle now half-empty. He takes a deep swig and I wonder if even the alcohol content of the dark whiskey is enough to kill the bacteria inside his mouth.

“So Lazarus confessed to it?” he asks as he hands back the bottle.

“Yeah, blackmail. He says she hit her head on a table after falling. Not sure if that will stick.” I hold the bottle up to my mouth and fake a pull.

“Damn shame. Even for a gook she was a hot piece of ass.” Another deep pull. “She had a real sweet voice, too.”


Beta giggles a bit, the alcohol has finally numbed the vocal filter. “After I got her wallet and stuff, she asked me for help.” Another giggle, and I want to twist his neck shut. I bite my bottom lip to stay calm. Beta has to talk. I need him to tell me what I already know. “Nuthin’ I could do.. She was already dyin’. Feel bad, though. Santos and I kept walkin’.”

I grab my cell after zero rings and say hello to no one. Beta is wasted to a point beyond noticing or caring. I tell my phone I will get there as soon as possible. “Gotta go, Beta.”

“You sure?” he says, gripping the bottle tightly.

“Yeah, you keep the rest. Sort of an apology for decking you the other day.”

Beta grins. He would gladly take a beat-down twice as bad for a full bottle of whiskey. Another deep pull, trying to finish it off in case I change my mind. Hygiene aside, I haven’t swallowed a single drop of the whiskey or the dozen barbiturates I threw in there before walking down to the beach with Beta. As he takes a long swig, I see the small outline of one sticking inside the bottle.

“Well maybe one for the road,” I ask as Beta reluctantly hands me the bottle. I try to casually swirl the bottle a few times and tip it up as if to drink. Pill gone. “Take care of yourself Beta.”

“Thanks again Doc.” Beta slurs as the bottle lands in his lap.

I turn and walk back to Jake’s, sparing one glance back at Beta quickly passing out into oblivion, surrounded by thousands of pock-mark steps struck in the sand. Within a few hours it will all be washed clean, if only for a short while.

08 May 2010

The Audition

( Background: My current story takes place in the early-1980s, in my old home of Oceanside, CA. The main character is Sam "Doc" Pepper, a former musician and owner of Dirty Jake's, a strip club that caters to the young Marines from nearby Camp Pendleton. City leaders have attempted to clean up this section of town in the past decade, even changing the name of the infamous Hill Street to a more tourist-friendly South Coast Highway.)

“Okay, show us your tits.”

The girl hesitated, and Doc’s head drooped at the neck in frustration. She wants to work at a strip club and won’t take her top off in front of potential bosses. The irony, seasoned by Doc’s direct nature, made Sledge's mouth part in a minimalist grin.

“Lydia, there’s nothing to worry about,” Sledge being the comforter, “We just need to see them in a natural state, that your figure isn’t enhanced by artificial means.”

Her eyes went from embarrassed to indignant. “They’re real.”

“He means we have to make sure you’re not stuffing your bra, Peaches.”

She looked at her shirt, pausing as if the buttons would undo themselves. A frustrated sigh whistled through Doc‘s hand.

“Look, we’re not going to jump you. You’re not our type.” A truth. While she was definitely twenty-two (Sledge had made her bring her high school yearbook, a more complicated forge), she still sported the “innocent school girl” look. It brought in the customers but interested Doc only slightly more than Italian Renaissance poetry.

Sledge, on the other hand, loved Italian Renaissance poetry. He just preferred men.

Lydia unbuttoned her blouse, going slow as if this was an audition for a film and not a seedy strip joint just south of Camp Pendleton. Doc perceptibly rolled his eyes, causing another smile to cross Sledge's face. Both he and Doc realized stopping her now would only prolong this audition, so they remained quiet. Sledge knew she had the “talent” for the job. Gina was the most senior dancer as well as the best at scouting dancers. She liked the girl’s moxie and had asked Doc for Lydia's special audition last night.

The shirt came off in a practiced motion, thankfully without any burlesque twirling once removed. Even Sledge had to admit the girl was physically perfect. Creamy white skin unblemished by a single pimple or scar. She even lacked breast tattoos, something that plagued almost all their recent auditions.

“Okay, here’s the rules. No hooking, ever. You get caught or arrested for it, even if it’s on your day off, you’re gone.” This was a rule Sledge and Gina had forced on Doc. Not that Doc wanted to pimp the girls out; he just didn’t care if they did it on their own time. Gina had almost quit over his laissez-faire attitude. “Next, no hard drugs. You smoke a bud with your friends at a concert, that’s your business. But you come to work with needle marks or pipe burns or shaking from the DT’s, that all folks.” Doc’s rule. Gina had fought for “diet pills”, but Doc wouldn’t allow it. Personal history is a bitch sometimes.

Sledge still wasn’t sure about this one. She was sucking on her bottom lip, in what was probably shame but reminded Sledge of a teenager asking her parents for the keys to the family car.

“Okay, here’s the employee agreement. You don’t have to sign it now, just bring it in on Satur-” Doc paused mid-handover, eyes locked on her hand. Sledge followed his eyes until he saw what had caught Doc’s attention.

“So how long have you been married, Lydia?” Doc had already pulled back the small packet of new hire forms. Lydia had taken the ring off, but the impression in her finger showed she'd only done it right before driving to her audition.

“About a year, why?”

Shit. “What rank is he?”

“Lance Corporal.”

Sledge looked away.

“Sorry honey, tell your husband if he wanted to be married to a stripper he should have married one instead of trying to make one.”

A confused look.

“It’s real simple; your husband started clamoring about money, right?”

She nodded, her confusion slowing it down considerably. “We wanted to move off-base and into our own home.”

“And he then he suggested you pulling a few shifts here would make a lot more money than thirty hours a week at the PX, right?” Sledge’s words came out calm, trying to ease her into the understanding.

“But he’s right,” Lydia’s rationalizing reflex had already kicked in, “You’ll pay me almost four times what I could make working there.”

“True, but what about your friends? Have you told any of them?”

Lydia’s eyes looked into a dead space a few inches off of the floor. The strong head shake was unnecessary; of course she hadn’t. Most of her friends were probably military wives. She still didn’t make the next logical step. Sledge was about the dust off the path, when Doc could no longer hold the frustration.

“And I bet a few of HIS friends asked when you started, right?” He stayed in his desk chair, but from her reaction you’d think Doc was yelling an inch from her face. “And they’re all the single ones, too? Now let’s think, why would he tell them? What possible reason? You’re wanting to start a family soon, right?” Another baby nod. “So you won’t be working here very long? And I bet all of them said they’d be there for ‘moral support’ on your first day, right?” Double-nod. “Tell me Lydia, does your husband get stuck at the office late most days?”

Sledge winced at Doc’s rough shifting of the conversation. Lydia nodded again.

“Been fighting a lot lately?” Another nod.

“But not about money?” A paused head shake.

A thick tear rolled down her cheek, followed by several friends. Sledge got up to comfort her, but shot a harsh glance at Doc in transit. Doc's directness was sometimes cruel, even by strip-club owner standards. The school-girl innocent look had actually been honest for once. Her agreement to this "career path" was obviously motivated by tearing him away from whatever action he got at the “office”.

“Here honey,” Sledge said in a calm voice as he slipped Vanessa’s card into her hand. “She’s an old friend of ours. Her real estate agency is always looking for new salesman.” Especially amongst former military wives who get dragged halfway across the country by their husbands only to end up stranded after he hooks up with a suntanned native.

Lydia stood up and looked at Doc. “But what do I tell my husband?” Even Doc had to admit the girl was an optimist.

“Tell him you didn’t get the job, because you didn’t.” Doc stood up to herd her towards the exit. “But do that after you talk to Vanessa. I’m sure she’ll hook you up.”

Sledge shut the door after walking her out.

“Tell Gina she owes me,.. Big time.” Doc sighed as he popped open a ginger ale.

“She didn’t know?”

“She knew.. The guy probably over-tipped her big time, so she felt obligated, of course. To the wife.”

It Begins..


Since this is my first foray into blogging, I just wanted to lay out my plans for this page. I decided several years ago that I wanted to be a writer, but have allowed the "real world" (and my perceptions and distractions) to prevent it.

That (hopefully) ends today..

I can promise no regular updates, but will do my best to make them worthwhile when they appear. Some postings will be short scenes I use to help develop characters. Others will probably be whatever is stuck in my head at that moment.

Please feel free to comment and tell me what you think, even if it is harsh. I am a fan of the San Diego Chargers and love golf even though I stink at it, so I'm already a bit of a masochist..